so in about two hours I'll be 28 years old. Now to my friends and family who are older, they might not get this...or they might...but I'm feeling old...and unaccomplished.

I have a good job, I have a beautiful home, things are generally going good. I am happy with the way most things are...but there is still one big gaping hole in my life.

I see how happy my brother and sisters are, and how happy some of the couples I know are and I wonder why can't I be this way? I know a lot of sarrows can come from life, but there is a lot of happiness too that offsets it.

I want some things, but I'm afraid that if I ask for them then I'll ruin a friendship...or damage it...and I don't want to do that either.

I really like the group of friends that I have and I'm glad of the twists and turns that my life has taken. And other then one big gaping hole in my life, I am generally happy with my life.

This past weekend, even though I did have fun, and I tried to keep a positive attitude...a few times I almost broke down because of all the emotions related to last week...It really didn't feel appropriate to bring it up during an enjoyable weekend either. I suppose, like all things, with time it'll grow distant.

At the end of the month, I'll be getting to see Fall Out Boy and I ordered tickets for myself and Jen today at work. Brandon warned me that he got an email from the venue warning them that the show is getting close to be sold out. They have got to be my favorite band right now. I've been listening to them almost every day (which I hardly ever do) and am just generally pumped about the whole thing.

I was gonna bake a cake for myself tonight, but after mowing the law, I didn't feel like driving all the way over to buy a cake pan, bowls and other cake things and then go to the store and get a mix and etc. Maybe I'll make one for the party that I'm throwing for myself on Friday. We'll see.

Normally, around this time, I'd be buying myself some extravagent birthday present, but I think I'm not gonna do that this year...I still have yet to see how much things will cost in relation to all of my house bills (I've still yet to see a water/sewer/garbage bill) and I think my big purchase will eventually be a car but I have to figure all the financial stuff out first. Now I'll not be getting the car I want but something more sensable.

I had a nice long conversation with Nathan last week. It was good to catch up with him. I should get my bum out there sometime this year or next and visit. I know they'll be out here twice this year (Wade's reception and Clif's wedding). And I really haven't taken a vacation in a long time...just short trips here and there (as my ever growing PTO bank shows).

Tomarrow I'll be going down to a resturant that I haven't been to in a while and It should be good. The company will be at least.

Oh well...life will continue to move forward...

1.5 hours till my birthday.