I've been having a lot of trouble lately. My moods have been swinging all over the place. Feelings of accomplishment, only to be dashed by more requests that are getting more and more minute. Feeling good to waking up in the morning in pain. I know that a lot of my health problems are self induced (yes, cholesterol and blood pressure tend to run high in my family, but the extra pounds doesn't help either). And even with the knowledge that it's really only me that can do it, I still over eat and it's very depressing. On the other side of that, eating still brings me comfort, so it's a kind of silliness...even if I eat healthier things, I tend to over do it.

I'm also depressed about our finances. Even though we're certainly better then we were last year, and we're not to a point where we're just looking over the edge (we can certainly see the edge). But even with that, faced with putting a new roof on the house is gonna remove any progress that we made and move it back into probably a tighter place then where we were at the worst of it. I guess I can't really say cause I have no idea what it would cost to do it...I had an estimate, but I'm sure prices of both labor and material has gone up since then...

And because of this, it also effects my hobby (which also effects the weight wee). Most of our meals are fairly simple, lot of them made from scratch (using cheaper ingredients). This can range for the price of the email, sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less (then pre-packaged garbage or take out or restaurants). The only real exceptions I have is movie night (where I pretty much have no limitations, though the last meal, excluding the price of the cheeses, was under 10$ for 4 people w/ leftovers) and special occasions. Though the thought of buying another 2 pounds of lobster meat frightened me (since I'm not allowed to buy live lobster), just...luckily we probably have enough leftover from the last time...

I really don't know what eludes me about frosting a cake. I don't know if my frosting just sucks or I do. Or maybe I'm just not patient enough to wait for the frosting to form properly...Looking at what I made tonight, the frosting didn't look like it was ever going to have the consistency of mayonnaise, like it said in the recipe...even after letting it cool for 2 hours or so... It became a separate style of frosting a cake...since apprently the other way wasn't gonna happen. Or maybe it's because I ran out of granulated sugar, and had to use powdered sugar...which I guess is the only really amazing thing. I bought a 10 pound bag of sugar for the desserts I made for my birthday, and in less then a year (about 9 months), all of that sugar is gone...not that we ate all that, but it's still something...

My iPod's battery is getting worse and worse. I didn't even make it halfway through making the cake, before the battery said it was dead...it's really getting annoying...I guess the option here is to get a charger for the kitchen. I have one for work, one in my car, I can hook it to my laptop down here and charge it...I dunno...maybe I just want a new one...which we really can't afford.

Being responsible sucks.