Journal

2017 - Week 27 Cooking

At this point, I am filled with confusing emotions, I have both relief and guilt and it it kind of shows how much my home is part of the base of my comfort.  Most times we have a clear timeline of when people will be here (few hours for a get together, a weekend for an event).  We have a full house (us plus 4 cats).  I'm glad my parents found another place to stay.  I don't know if Freyja was stressed because of the extra people in the house, or as a reflection of our own stress of having extra people in the house.  She seems to have recovered relatively quickly and is no longer hiding under our bed (after a bit of encouragement from me), but is still a bit tentative around the house (probably still smells like other people).

2017 - Week 26 Cooking Results

Pork chops...for 11?...*sigh*

Parents, Siblings, and two nieces.  A whole lot of pork chops (Including a few extra).  Not enough seating.  I seared off the pork chops in pans, then finished them in the oven.  Some of the early ones may have gotten a bit over (ok really got a bit over), but for the most part it turned out well.  The mashed potatoes that I made were well commented on (cream, butter, salt, pepper, and mixed in some of the rendered pork fat, and some shredded smoked cheddar) and it went from there.

The next night, since we were still all here, I threw together the taco salad or tacos (Crooked Gap chorizo).  This went over well to.  Took longer then normal since the chorizo was still in the freezer.  To save money (and the stores weren't available), there was no quark, no prairie breeze, etc.  It was a step down from the normal, but given the short notice, had to be done.

Garlic Chile Ground Pork

Delayed!...I was going to make this, but Dad offered to take us out to eat, and who am I to turn that down?

Shredded Chicken Salad with Creamy Miso Dressing

Delayed!...I never had a chance to buy the rotisserie chicken cause the fridge didn't have space.

Quinoa Salad

I added some bacon ends and some leftover pork chop meat, canned tomatoes (no fresh from the ground tomatoes yet, though it looks like things are coming along nicely)

Bratwurst Reuben

Being the last time I made this, my dad really liked it, I made it again.  It went over just as well.  My mom was pretty surprised by the sauerkraut that I made and how easy it is to make.  I plan to make sauerkraut again in the fall.

Twin Cities Obligatory Food Photos

Spoon and Stable

We went to brunch and had several pastries (including my semi-obsession with croissants).  The best hash browns I've ever had, wonderful bacon (yes those thick slabs behind the hash browns are bacon)

The Bachelor Farmer & Marvel Bar

We shared:

  • Smooth duck liver pate, preserved vegetables, mustards
  • Salt-cured foie gras, arugula, cherriette radishes, cucumbers, pickled shallots, red wine vinegar
  • Sautéed ramps, parmesan, lemon
  • Warm popover, honey butter

Shannon had, "Roasted Scallops, wild rice, green garlic, lovage, asparagus broth" and I had "Duck Confit, wilted nettles, spelt, thyme, sweet and sour rhubarb", then for dessert we had "Chocolate cake, peanut butter ice cream, fudge, fleur de sel" and Vanilla Bean Panna cotta with blackberry jam? (the rhubarb one ran out, it made me sad)

At the marvel bar, I had Old Man and the Sea, Oakenshield, London Bridge, and Shanon had Candycane.  Fantastic experience all around.  TBF has shot up to one of my top five meals of all time.

Pig ate my Pizza (PAMP)

We weren't super hungry, but I didn't want to eat later and spoil the appetite for TBF.  So we shared Hog Tots and Royale with Cheese pizza.  Quite enjoyable.

Tiny Diner

This was relatively close to our first stop for coffee (Angry Catfish), so we headed over here and had a good meal.  The buttermilk biscuits!  Wonderful.

A Baker's Wife Pastry Shop

Very buttery croissant.

2017 - Week 17 Cooking - Results

Stressful week, good resolution.  As a Side note, there is a clear need for an upgrade to the underlaying monetary system.  It shouldn't a. cost $40 ($20 to initiate and $20 to receive) to do a same day transfer and b. take so damn long.  that being said, Thanks to my current banking institution for not-recharging me for the cashiers check re-addressing.

Anyways, food.

Italian Sausage and Potato Frittata

After not feeling the desire to do this last week, it was really easy.  And pretty good.

Ham Steak with Rhubarb Sauce

With guests, had to buy more ham steaks, ended up being pretty good with the rhubarb, sugar and pan drippings.

Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs with Parmesan & Red Pepper flakes

Oh oven...it's hard to know how much you miss something until it's easy to use ones again.  I used olive oil, some parmigiano reggiano, and a few red pepper flakes and salt and pepper and tossed, and baked in the oven.  Not bad for the ease of work. 

Bratwursts

s'right.

Chorizo Tacos

With guests, these became taco salad, and because I didn't plan enough for guests, I added rice to expand the amount to make good sized salads.  Good stuffs.

On Friday night, after Shannon and I got back from Who's Live is it Anyway?, My brothers, father and I shared most of a bag of Paqui Haunted Ghost Pepper Chips, it left more then one of us with upset stomachs, though, they were quite good.

Saturday, my brothers made dinner for my father's birthday.  Quite the meal.

2016 - Week 47 Cooking / Thanksgiving Results

Anthony Bourdain's Mac & Cheese

Probably the most expensive mac & cheese I've made, but to be fair, I did make choices to make it more expensive.  I used Red Table Meats the Royal, and then a bunch of cheese from the cheese shop to combine to make this.  It was quite good.

Grilled Cheese

Simple and quick, as is it should be for this week.

Hamburger

Om nom nom.

Leftovers?

So we were on our own for Thursday night, and Friday night, but on Saturday, I took some of the leftover turkey breast, diced it up, some potatoes, peeled and pre-cooked them a bit in the microwave, tossed in the leftover green bean dish, covered it in gravy & some chicken stock, then covered it with leftover mashed potatoes.  Prep was almost nil, though it still did take ~ an hour to come up to an acceptable temperature.

Thanksgiving turned out pretty well.  Some audibles and to be made.  Since the turkey was so big (27 pounds), it took for damn ever to thaw.  I had to use my oldest chefs knife to literally saw through to get the turkey breasts off so I could brine them.  Because of that I was also unable to make turkey stock ahead of time (for gravy and etc).  I would've had time to make rolls, but I was starting to get tired, at nights, so I picked up rolls.

My assistant this year changed, I traded in the older reliable model for the younger less knowledgable one.  I only had to correct him once.  The take away is when you are done with an ingredient, put it away, especially in a tiny kitchen like mine, where counter space is at an absolute premium.  Things were simplified from last year, knowing that I wouldn't have the same level of help.  Isaac worked out good though, he took a whole dish off my care (which was commented on in positive terms by a lot of people).

While Isaac was making the sherried sweet potatoes when the sherry cork, well fell apart.  After extracting it, we had to, well drink the rest of the Sherry, so it was a good thing to have.  (according to my uncle in law's app it was in the top 7% of all Sherry).  

The bacon from Whole foods was to thick.  But other then that things turned out as expected.  Everything was pretty good.  Another Thanksgiving in the books.

FFS, really forget the pictures?  Updating to include the pictures.

Why I terminated my membership, after ~20 years of being "inactive"

I was raised as a member of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (commonly called Mormons, though they don't necessarily prefer that term).  All along the way I had doubts, even as I was selected for youth leadership roles, I had doubts.  People would describe the feeling that one would get when they supposedly communed with the divine.  I never felt this feeling.

Never.

Not for a lack of trying, either.  So for me, it became a problem with several answers:

  1. The divine didn't want to commune with me
  2. I was doing something wrong (that I was aware or unaware of)
  3. The divine wasn't communing with these people (or anyone), they have just deluded themselves in thinking they were
  4. There is no divine

The problem is, trying to think about religion in a logical fashion doesn't particularly work.  At some point there will be a drastic leap over things that would normally discount, to be in that believer category.  For reason 1 & 2, it didn't really follow that even with "sins" that were committed, it didn't follow that for the entire course of my youth that this would be the case.  I could see how some "sins" this would follow, but my entire childhood?

For 3, there are clear evidence that there are mass delusions related to many things.  These can exist in the realm of the religious or even in the secular world.  The desire to want to belong and have that "special feeling" could really lead people to force themselves to believe that it has happened.  Since there is no external confirmation that anything has happened, it is easy to convince oneself that it does, if they really want it to.

For 4, it is near impossible to prove the negative.  Though when one thinks about the supposed properties of the mainstream divine, they seem to logically contradict each other.  Though some could state that the divine doesn't have to be limited by logic, but if they don't, then every thing that exists is arbitrary and meaningless (there are many that have argued this).

As soon as I was no longer forced to go, I didn't.  I didn't attend when I was at college, but would attend when I went home, again, due to force.

Occasionally I would vaguely join in activities or etc for the purpose of filling a social void (even though I didn't believe, having people that you were raised in a similar fashion around did provide some sort of comfort).  When the need was met, the desire to do anything with that group of people was entirely removed.

The final straw for me, was when I was confirmed in my belief that either there is no divine or the divine cares little in the affairs of the smart monkeys that we are.  I as invited to be an activity leader for the singles ward.  At this point there were several parts of the word of wisdom that I may have been in clear violation, so to offer a role, was clearly an action not because I was worthy, but to provide me a place of responsibility to bring me back in.  There are many many roles in the LDS church.  These roles give people a purpose, and when people have a purpose they are less likely to feel left out and probably more likely to feel as if they have a responsibility to complete these tasks.

At that time I completely cut ties.  No longer would I go to movies with this group of people or go to eat or etc.

As my opinions on life and how the world should work, kept being formed, I will not deny that many of these could be drawn back to what I saw as the positives of the LDS faith, however, many mormons don't particularly practice or espouse these beliefs and fall more into the political expectations of the more conservative parts of their faith.

As time passed, the LDS leadership took positions that had become more and more offensive to me as time passed.  These things usually followed forcing their beliefs into public law (against secular same sex partnerships).  It wasn't just LDS leaders that fall into this area, but many people support these position to bring about their religions' version of a Theocracy in the United States.

For me, since we live in a country which should have a clear division of the secular and the divine, if your religion tells you to life should be like X, you then need to work back your logic to prove that X is needed without any reference to the divine.  So if you cannot state that X should exist without relying on RSS (Religion Says So), then guess what?  It shouldn't apply to other people.  You can place limitations on your own behavior, but to place the expectations on others, you need more then just your religion.

At this point LDS leadership just placed a straight up dick move on people that want to believe and be active, but feel as if the LDS church is behind in the understanding in what the divine desires.  One could look back on the interpretation of the divine by LDS leaders in relation to black people and how it really was a very slow response to the societal pressure.

Up until this point I've been more then happy to wait until I don't have to have the particular discussion with my father (like after he passed away), but it's been my intention to officially leave for more then a decade.

For me, what really drove this final, official cut off, was my sister.  She has her own set of reasons and ideas, but frankly, if someone is going to have to take familial flack over this, I'd rather it be me, then her.  Frankly at this point, I'm used to it.  I already have a fairly distant relationship with large segments of my family, so adding another factor, is not something I have concern over.

Below is the text of my letter (edited to remove some personal details), that was signed, notarized and sent via certified mail:

“November 12, 2015
Member Records Division
LDS Church
50 E North Temple Rm 1372
Salt Lake City, Utah 84150-5310
Member Records Division:
This letter is to inform you that as of November 12, 2015, I have terminated my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Please remove the name Samuel /removed/ Kurth (born /removed/ in /removed/) from the records of the LDS Church immediately as dictated in the General Handbook of instructions.
Throughout the years I’ve had strong doubts (even at a very young age) and severe objections to the doctrine, teachings and actions of the LDS church. I fully understand that my request:
1. Cancels the effects of baptism
2. Withdraws the priesthood
3. Suspends temple sealings and blessings
My resignation should be processed immediately, without any “waiting periods”. I am not going to be dissuaded and I am not going to change my mind.
I expect this matter to be handled promptly. Due to my termination of membership, any requests to participate in any courts of disciplinary councils will be ignored.
After today the only contact that I want from the church is up to two correspondences of this type:
1. A letter of confirmation that this document was received
2. A letter of confirmation that I am no longer a member of the church
If necessary I will seek legal counsel.
Sincerely,
Samuel /removed/ Kurth
”

I can talk about this, publicly now.

So a bit back we were taken through a roller coaster of emotions.  Scare, relief, scare, more scare.

So for several reasons my wife was sent over to Iowa Radiology after a bit of back and forth, we found out that she had a mass around one of her ovaries.  So at best, it's gotta go, at worse, all that system has to go.

So the positives.

  • Her work has been amazing  She found out about it during the first month or so of working there.  We were planning on just using FMLA to ensure she can go back to work, but her manager was like here, let me get you the short term disability paperwork, lets take care of this.
  • My work has also been amazing.  Clearly I have been distracted, overly emotional, and running off to take my wife to appointments.  This has not been a problem (except the minor freakout for a major go-live that I'll be missing (I only have a minor role)).
  • Many people have said if we need anything, just ask, and not like that thing that some people might say, but more of a these people will actually do.  It feels great to have friends  / family like this.
  • The oncologist we are working with, we have not heard anything bad about her (other doctors, other people in the know).  She's been great to talk to and handle everything.  She's been a great confidence boost.
  • I had other plans for my Flex money this year (dental), and we set aside some flex money for Shannon, but between the two of these things, there's a large chunk of cash to take care of bills, and another large chunk in reserve beyond that.

The bad (for me)

  • I have been stress eating.  Now I'm quite aware of it, and I'm within a reasonable margin, but more then I should be clearly.  Strangely enough I'm still down weight, so who knew (up from my lowest point, but down from my latest peak)?
  • There has been more...drinking.  Certainly not to the same extent as some other periods in my life, but certainly more then the weekend / casual / social type of drinking that I do.  While I know it's not the best way to deal with things, some of it is the calming ritual of it.
  • I never expected to live past 30 (I'm closing in on 40).  In discussions with a fried about this whole thing, neither of us really were living our lives as if there was not much of a future.  Lives changed then my goal became, I want to make sure that there is enough money for my wife, when I pass.  Clearly I will first, though she doesn't like me talking like this, but with that as a generalized goal and a lot of what my life revolves around, what would happen if that pillar was gone?  Being in the suspense that we have been kept in, in these periods of time, very dark thoughts can go across my mind.  I'm often, as I stated, distracted, distressed and very dark.  I try to keep up the habits that keep my mood elevated (regular walks, keeping myself partially distracted at all times, etc), but often times, these days, it's not working very well.  Sometimes I hide it well, sometimes not.  Either way, it's been a struggle to keep my head in a normal / semi-normal space, while trying to be supportive and keep up with the day to day.
  • I have been sleeping poorly.  I often find myself staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to hold me.
  • When I sleep and dream, they're often bad dreams, haunted by bad things

With all this going on we've been working together to keep the attitudes positive.  It is hard to predict what will happen in the next 40 days or so, but hopefully, no more bad surprises.

Máni Kurth

  • Máni Kurth (Originally "Socks", 1, 2)
  • Adopted from ARL via All-Pets Animal Hospital
  • Male, Age 3 (ARL) to 5.5 Months (Based on Teeth via our Vet)
  • Under watch for mild cold
  • under treatment for diarrhea and Coccidia

We went downtown to visit the Iowa Historical Building.  While looking for change for the parking meter, we saw a little black kitten in the window.  We headed over to the coffee shop next to HoQ, I bought an iced coffee and got extra change and headed back to feed the meter and stopped to play a little bit with the little black kitty.  He gave us a lot of attention.  while another couple came in to look at it we decided to think about it while we walked through the Historical building.

After wandering around, looking up some names, and thinking about it, we decided to go.  We paid our ARL adoption fee and, without a temporary carrier, took Máni home.  He was very vocal about the travelling and kept trying to get back over to me, while I was driving.  We safely made the trip and while Shannon made sure the 2nd bedroom was cat free, we rushed him upstairs to a bit of isolation (don't want to spread the cold or anything else he has until we're sure he's safe).

Shannon made an appointment at her work and we spent some time with him while we she waited until it was time to trek him off to the Vet for a checkup (this time in one of our carriers).  Came back with some treatment and some special food and Shannon headed out a bit later for more kitten gear.

So far Freyja and Loki have been curious and a bit hissy, but hopefully they'll get introduced properly soon, and be a bit more accepting.

 

A little family reunion

So on Thursday my sister Lovina and her family Flew into Des Moines and we ate a late lunch at Hoq (minus Shannon who had to go back to work) where my brother is working these days.  It was nice to chat about the things in our lives.

Friday Morning Shannon and I headed up to our Hotel in Cresco, Iowa, via a meandering, avoiding highway route through the middle of the state.  Our first stop was in Grundy Center.  We started to play the "Find Premium Gas" game, and ended up filling up at Family Foods, because nobody else in town had Premium.  Then stopped across the street at Park Place for lunch.  The food was ok, their secret sauce was basically thousand island with dill.  The peach pie was pretty good.  Good Crust, and since they were canned peaches (which made me sad), I also thorized, and am probably right, that the secret to their peach iced tea is the peach syrup that comes in the can.  That's pretty much what it tastes like.

Then we moved on.  Driving down roads, through small towns, and generally enjoying the ride. 

We saw a sign for a historical marker, and then quickly turned on to the side road to see the marker.  We passed a small cemetery, but saw no indication of a historical marker after that, and after a mild detour, we ended up at The Little Brown Church in the Vale.

Near Nashua, it is a little brown church (clearly an accurate name).  It has models of the church (Littlest, little little, and then the actual church which is just little).  It was a nice place and certainly a good stop to take pictures.  A bit more driving and we were in Cresco and checked in.

We went on to the campground where the rest of my family was staying and proceeded to spend time with the family.  

The drive back to the hotel, we went the wrong way, ended up what really seemed like some creepy roads, lost phone signal (no more maps) and stumbled our way back to Cresco on this creepy path not knowing if the road was going to end beyond our headlights and because of the hills, sometimes you just couldn't see anything further.  Eventually data returned to my phone and we got back along gravel roads. 

The next morning we went to go get me some decent coffee (the coffee at our hotel was undrinkable).  I was missing my DTFM, and we stumbled upon the Winneshiek Farmers Market and bought some fresh parsley for the meal I had planned for that evening.  We then took a seat at Java John's and I had an ok latte.  Then we waited for the rest of our family to show up to tour the Vesterheim (their website needs some help).  Then some lunch at Mabe's (website also needs help) and the Whippy Dip (suggestions of Josh and Lindsay).

This is where Shannon and I parted ways with my family.  I was on call and needed to be relatively close to a way to deal with a work issue if they arose.  So instead we decided to go to see the Chapel of St Anthony of Padua near Festina, Iowa.

This is a tiny little church that a mother built for her son on his return from the Russian Campaign of Napoleon.  It has a tiny cemetery and a little park right right by it, which is also right next to a river.  We were joined by a couple riding on a pair of ATVs who hung out at the park.

Nice stained glass, a small altar and 2 rows of benches.  It seems like it'll seat 8 or so.   Then we decided that our time was growing short and we'd need to meet up with the family so we headed back to Decorah, stopped by Toppling Goliath's tasting room and I sampled a few varieties and settled on PsuedoSue Pale Ale and picked up a growler and a chalice to drink it out of.

We headed back to our hotel, dropped off a few things for the day, and headed back to the campground where we (well me) were responsible for dinner.  I recruited people to help me assemble hobo packs.  Of course these were hobo packs as I would make them, so they were: 

  • A health dot of oil
  • Crooked Gap Green Onion Sausage or Graziano Sausage
  • Sliced Potatoes
  • Fresh Parsley from the Farmer's Market
  • Some Salt, Pepper (or smoked black pepper) and oregano

I sent Issac off to prepare the corn on the cob using the Parmigiano Reggiano and Smoked Black Pepper butter.  Cara prepared a salad (which I never got to taste, cause by the time I was done cooking it was gone).  Emily and Brent help prepare the fires for cooking and we monitored the doneness as we did so.

They turned out pretty good.  I was generally happy with the results. 

More chatting with the siblings relatively late into the night, we head back.  This night, we had another experience, we went the right way but saw a family of racoons (mom and 4 or 5 young), a kitten, a possum and what appeared to be a bobcat (or other small wild cat, but clearly not a domestic cat) lounging in the road.

I did something to make me feel better.  I drank some of the PsuedoSue, listened to podcasts and updated my spreadsheet of money, while Shannon went to bed.  After a bit I ended up in bed sleeping.

Sunday morning, the majority of my family headed off to Church and we met up with Joseph, Lovina, and her husband Eric at Magpie's Coffeehouse for breakfast.  We were first again, but I got to enjoy my first latte, which was made from Kickapoo Coffee.  This made me so happy and I was able to create a connection to home and routine by the mere process of drinking this helped relax me.  A bit later they showed up (we thought it would be Lovina, Eric and their kids, but were surprised by the addition of Joseph and subtraction of the kids).  We chatted, ate and had a good morning.  We figured out where to get potatoes for mashing for Joseph's lunch (brisket).  Lovina, Shannon and I headed down to see the Bily Clocks.

We got there a bit early and drove around to find the spillway or the mill, which apparently had been recently knocked down because it was no longer safe to be up (thanks for the info nice lady on her walk).  So we headed over to St Wenceslaus Church (oldest Czech Catholic in the US) and wandered around, headed inside, saw the old pipe organ that Antonin Dvorak played the time he spent there.  We wandered around the old cemetery, where we found many metal crosses (which we later found were done because there was someone there that worked in that method).  Then when the museum opened up we headed over and went in to tour around.

We listened to their walkthrough on the clocks, which I've gotta say are pretty amazing.  Lovina had quite the look of fascination on her face looking at them.  I really wish we could've taken photographs. 

We then ran back to share lunch (with a quick stop again at Toppling Goliath to pick up chalices for Josh and Nathan) and then back to the campground.

We took, yet another way there, and drove by the Laura Ingalls Wilders Museum and headed into the road where we were stunned by a road closed sign.  We decided to risk it, and headed towards the path where we should go, eventually running into what closed the road.  A bridge...being rebuilt, not exactly the easiest thing to get around.  So we turned around, and drove down a gravel road.  After a  bit of a detour, seeing a bald eagle getting attacked by a little bird (while it was chasing other birds in that flock), almost going off the road because I was watching the eagle, we ended up back on the other side of the bridge and cruising back to the campground.

We had a good lunch (Brisket over Mashed Potatoes) and took some pictures, then after a bit of chatting we headed home. 

This started the "Find Premium Gas" game again, We stopped by Klunders  (decent pie) and then basically chose our route based on where we could fill up my car.  We ended up in Waverly, and then took Highway 20 over to I35 and home.

The road home was long and boring, I really enjoyed the drive on the small highways, this way, my speed kept creeping up.