Journal

Maybe some adjustments...

Generally, I have fed my public persona through twitter, then to my private(ish) to facebook.  About 5% of what I do probably is on facebook.  With the recent change in policy, things will become more challenging.  Do i really want to double post?  I suspect there will be some loss of audience, not that I have that much.

I dunno, honestly it'll probably be me ignoring it for a bit and forgetting about it.

Downpour of June 30, 2018

I was waiting for the rain to start, to cut the heat a bit.  I did not expect the amount of rain we got.  We watched some episodes of Luke Cage season 2 while the sky turned overcast, then the rain started.  Things went fine until around 9:15 PM when the power went out.  I often am stunned with how much sound we are used to with the low hum of the various electronics around the house.  Up and down our street, the lights were out, except for some solar powered lights at a house down the street.  We start to look around outside, find flashlights (batteries dead, but just bought new batteries).  With the darkness, heavy rainfall and rain against the windows, it was very hard to see.

Our garbage and recycling bins floated away.  I went to go find them as Shannon had expressed some concern about them.  The first thing I noticed when starting my trip outside is that there was a river on the dead end our driveway is on.  I headed down on the strip of land next to the street.  I got to the driveway and there were white caps generated as the water rushed over my driveway edges.  it was about a foot or two up the driveway.  I got to the backyard and spotted the bins.  They had camped out at the new fence that my neighbor put in.  I went to retrieve them from the fence and put them closer to the house.  The further away from my house I got, the softer the ground got.  There was water pooled on the ground between our yards.  I pulled up the bins and dragged them (with quite a bit of water inside) towards the house.

On my way about I noticed down the street that there was a car with blinking lights, so I headed back across the front of the house, checking various things in my yard.  I noticed that my neighbor to the west of me had part of a tree down (In the morning we noticed that it looks like the tree got a hair cut and lost a bit of height too).  I walked down the street, to point my flashlight at the car and noticed there were people in side.  I gingerly stepped into the street to make sure I had some sure footing.  The water on Franklin Avenue was to my mid-calf, and very quick.  The two people in the car seemed relatively calm, and I invited them into our house in case they wanted a place to hang out, but they seemed ok for their situation, even after I stated that this would probably go on for another hour or so.  I told them my house was the one on the corner and they're welcome if they change their mind, then I headed back to the house.

People were occasionally going by in cars, jeeps and the like.  So we figured out what to do, Shannon headed upstairs to go to bed, and I played cards on my iPad for a bit then headed downstairs to go to bed (no power, no CPAP, not fair to Shannon).  I eventually fell asleep and was woken up around 1:30 AM, when the lights came back on the the basement.

I headed upstairs to go to bed, and did so.

Looking around a bit on the news and social media, it appears as if there is quite a bit of damage all over the metro,  It'll take a bit to recover from this.  But power's back for the most part, they've already started chopping up the down branches from the neighbor's yard (apparently it knocked down their power / etc lines).

2018 - Week 25 Cooking

This past week I got a chance to catch up with a friend of mine.  And he noticed how much better off I was compared to the last time he saw me.  And it's true.  I am in a much better place.  I have a theory that I can tell how bad off I am by the amount of books I consume.  Perhaps.  I don't think they always correlate, but I am on quite the run this year vs previous years (already consumed more then last year).  Part of me feels like I am cheating a bit, as I am listening to audio books during my morning walk.  But even with that, I am in a better place.  I have played a bit with meditation, but have trouble fitting it in my lackadaisical morning routine.  I suppose if I segmented my morning more it'd work better.

That being said, being able to get my shit together enough to actually make progress in important parts of my life and then being generally rejected is kind of frustrating, but I was still able to roll with getting that bad news.  Knowing that, the next time I receive an advertisement for that type of insurance, I'm going to perhaps have to throw my current insurance company under the bus.  Plus...the world *sigh*.

2018 - Week 20 Cooking

This past week I went out to Vaudeville Mews to see P.O.S.  It has been a while since I've gone out to see a concert on my own, and this was one that accidentally made me do so.  While the performance was strange as he had a bit (or a lot) of vertigo, it felt very connected and I'm glad I went.  I did spend the first part after the doors opened, reading a bit.  I suppose I could've attempted to socialize, but I'm not very good at starting that.  I'm glad I went, even alone, and enjoyed it.

Friday, I took the day off again.  I was tasked for finding a replacement ceiling fan.  After searching and research, I found one that I thought would work.  Then ordered it to pickup in a Lowes store.

Having other errands to run, I got ready to leave the house, then headed off to JC Penny's to find some work clothes (and spend the gift card from my mom-in-law).  I found a couple of deals, a couple of acceptable items, one super good deal (91% off).  Ended up getting 7 items for just under $100.  I headed out to the parking lot to check in on the pickup at the store item at Lowes.  I called, after bouncing around a bit, finally talked to someone, who said they'd call me back.

I headed to Whole Foods to pick up a couple of things.  The idea for me, was Pennys > Lowes > Whole Foods > home.  So as lowes was out of the loop, I made my way home.  After a bit of time, I finally tweeted about my frustration and after a bit of responsive twitter lowes, I finally got a call back.  Apparently the items shipped to the store had not survived the trip and were not removed form stock.  Which is fair enough, but still a frustrating experience.  Then I got offered a ceiling fan from a friend (thanks Keith!), and this sounds like the new plan.  I still thought about the fan, which would probably be more effective in the living room.  So the plan changed.  Then I remembered that I'd have to run electricity and create a new light socket, which to me sounds expensive, so I'll get quotes on that.  So I cancelled my fan in store pickup.  I often complain about inventory management.  I understand it's hard to get accurate information, but if you are going to display that, it's the responsibility of everyone to get the data as correct as possible.

2018 - Week 15 Cooking Results

A couple of accomplishments this week.  After some questionable previous financial decisions, we have finally consolidated our house debt into a single loan (at least it will take effect very soon) and have plans to accelerate the pay down a bit, but also free up general monthly income.

We're continuing to aggressively (but not overly aggressively, as to continue to enjoy life) go after things we need vs not.

We have also been slowly re-organizing and cleaning the edge locations of the house.  Donate or give away things we don't actually use (camping is out, per my sleep apnea), then fill that space with things we do, or at least one of us does.  We free up space, then organize space then free up more space.  Some decisions are just things we have put off doing, but now do, cause it is what is next (some / most of this is probably on me).

As my mental state has generally stabilized in what I suspect is an acceptable normalish range, I think a lot of this is more possible and things are generally easier to do.  I do not have to work through getting myself motivated to do a thing, but generally can just get started.  I still spend an excessive amount of time analyzing my thoughts because I suspect they will be unreasonable, but more often then not, now, they are not.

Roasted Chicken Thighs Salad

While cleaning the kitchen yesterday, I simply roasted some chicken then let it cool and refrigerated it.  Then combined it with a some mayo, sour cream, mustard, celery, a bit of diced pickles and pickled jalapenos.

Thai Style Red Curry Chicken with Vegetables

I followed this for the most part, and served it over quinoa.  This added a nutty underlying taste to it, which I thought was nice.

N'duja With Eggs on Flatbread

Little spice, little fat, little eggs.  Good stuff.

Pizza

Delayed until today.  I took the dough out already to do the final rise

Taco Salad

Another easy choice.  I may need to stop eating very spicy salsa.

Turkey Torta

Buy Torta rolls from CostCo, Make tortas, easy peasy.  This worked out pretty well.

Analyzing Emotions

With the loss of Moonshadow, it has been challenging.  I try to take a perspective that I need to analyze all the responses that come up, as my brain doesn't work quite right in its responses.  Admittedly with the increased dosage, this has become quite a bit easier.  So with normal days, the things that come up are relatively easy to judge.  But with this loss, I'm sitting here wondering if this is the appropriate amount of response (to much or to little being the option).  So I'm still thinking about her and thinking in general.  Luckily I have a monthly therapy appointment in a couple of days and I can work out my thought process a bit more.

Miss Moonshadow

We went through a number of hoops to initially get Moonshadow, Initially for a short period of time, but as she settled into the house, the situation changed and she became our cat.  She has bounced through several members of the Kurth family over the course of her life due to situational changes.

She was definitely set in her ways, which created a bit of a rough edge between her and our other cats.  But she was generally polite and understanding for people.  She would sit on my lap in the morning which actually changed my morning routine.  At night, she liked to sleep between my legs, and as I am getting older, she politely would move to the other side of the bed as I got up to relieve myself.  Then settle back in shortly after I did (unlike our other cats who are more like, screw you I'm comfortable).  Eventually she allowed Loki to sleep near her, Freyja and her just kept their distance.  And well, Mani...he was being Mani and being a bit dickish as he is (trying to become dominant kitty in the house) so they didn't get along at all (Probably a similar relationship that she had to Tor).  We'll miss her a lot.

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2018 - Week 3 Cooking Results

This week was shortened a bit by a trip up north to see The Killers, I learned something in discussions with my long time friend, one of which, we clearly need adult supervision (thanks to both our wives for a. allowing us to be us, and b. keeping us enough in line to not get into to many shenanigans).  Thursday evening, I was still recovering, Shannon brought home dinner.  Thanks to to my friend for taking me along, lets do it again (after our livers have recovered a bit).

Sloppy Sammy's with Gorgonzola

Yeah...this really is good.  You should make it.

Pork Cutlet Cuban Sandwich

I used tortas as the buns, it was pretty good.  I had mine with the orange mustard sauce, Shannon not so much.  Pretty good sandwich.

Bourbon Mac & Cheese

I added a bit of Gorgonzola, reduced the bourbon a bit (knowing that Shannon wouldn't want to have to much of a flavor of bourbon) and swapped out potato starch for corn starch.  Not to bad.  Easy stove top mac and cheese. 

Spicy Black Bean Burgers

I skipped this one, I'll re-judge if I'm going to re-add it.

Taco Salad

This really isn't the same way twice, but I'm starting to see it as an excuse for me to buy jalapeno salsa and eat it.  Which well, a good chunk of my GI track doesn't support.  That being said, I do enjoy it as I eat it.  Later...maybe not so much.

Positives and Negatives

So as my mood slowly faded down, with a correction here and there, but the eventual decline.  My morning routine changed.  After my walk, instead of sitting down and eating breakfast and flipping / reading through my subscribed to cooking magazines, I spent quite a bit of time with cat lap time.  So this me sitting on a chair, flipping through the news on my phone, drinking my cold brew coffee with 2% milk and I'll usually be joined by Moonshadow, sometimes Mani, and occasionally Freya (sometimes two at a time).

Frankly I like this as a start to the day. 

Even after the cloud of misinterpretation has cleared, I realized that most of these magazines don't make sense.  Cook's Illustrated / Country, I subscribe to them online ($), so getting the paper copy doesn't really make sense to me.  Food & Wine turned into the direction of Saveur (more travel, more wine and a bit of food), which is why I let Saveur lapse a while ago (though Lucky Peach's extra time has re-subscribed me to Saveur).  Food & Wine also has an over saturation of ads, making their website obnoxious to use.  Bon Appetit, I'm debating on keeping that, I kept the renewal card from the most recent magazine, but I'm going to call amnesty on the stack of issues and just donate them for re-sale. (hopefully a quarter a piece for Planned Parenthood of the Heartland).

So on the other side of the cloud, I can see that some of the spending was wasteful (we're trying to cut back quite a bit), so it doesn't make a ton of sense to keep paying for them.  Others, I just don't enjoy enough to justify the cost.  Sure I'll pick up the Thanksgiving issues probably, but beyond that...

2018 - Week 3 Cooking

Last month, I had a medication change, which is starting to settle out into a good normalcy.  I have been inspired by the Hilarious World of Depression to be more open and honest about my struggle with my own brain.  The medication change was like taking off a filter of awfulness off the world (which, well is extra awful lately).  One of which is to be more open with Shannon about what is going on in my brain, because frankly, my shutting myself off is one of the first signs that things are starting to go downward.  At some point, I'll probably write about how the last year has gone, and how, looking back on it over the years, it's effected me, but I'm not quite ready for that.

On a separate note, I keep seeing in my Facebook memories about putting Gorgonzola on a sloppy joe, so uh..that's gonna happen.