So this month has been rough. On top of the external stressors, my work Grandma (Judy / Juju) passed suddenly. I think she had been retired for just under a year. It really hit me hard. Then this past Tuesday, I had already processed the loss of my Grandma (dad's mom, also my last grandparent), as she has become less and less there and even said so in my therapy appointment, however when the seriousness of her condition started to get expressed around my family, my normal reflection time took on a very emotional connotation as the songs playing at the Cheese Shop reminded me of the past (Time in a bottle really pushed me over the edge). So I held back and pondered and became more and more morose. Decided I wouldn't be able to cook, and with some texting back and forth with Shannon ordered dinner to take home.
I then became a blubbering mess. I fell asleep at some point and eventually made it upstairs to go to bed.
I think Grandma is really the source of the Food is Love in my family. Making sure there were always good food to share and eat and cookies in the cookie jar. A lot of our fond family traditions revolved around the food she made.
I'll miss my grandma, but I feel that she has left a strong desire in my to have people around me enjoy the food I make for them.