Cleaning and wondering

So today I cleaned...and cleaned and cleand. I vacuumed all my carpets, swept all my floors, actually mopped (not just swiffered) my kitchen and bathroom floors. Cleaned the bathrooms, top to bottom, cleaned the kitchen, top to bottom. Not just cause it needed it, but because I wanted to. It's nice to be in a clean house.

I also did a bunch of laundry, blankets, sheets, casual clothes. Getting all my blankets all preped for winter.

My house looks nice, smells nice...and that is good.

So I'm sitting's getting later and I sit here and wonder. How life would've been like if I would've made a few diffrent choices...they may have been small then, but they probably make big effects now. Sometimes I wonder about my friends...maybe it's my paranoia or maybe it's something entirely diffrent, or maybe I just doubt myself. I still remember that I have a decent life. I've got a good job, good co-workers, I make good bank. I've got a beautiful house and car. But you know what is the most important. I've got good friends and family. I'm thankful for all the people that I've met in the last year. I'm thankful for the friends I've had for years.

I've really been trying for a lot of self improvement over the last few years...and slowly but surely some of my goals are being met. There's still a big one that I have yet to tackle, but I've been working on it slowly.